So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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