His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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