I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
