My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
