whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
