sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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