This girl is more easily done than said...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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