3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
