I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize