Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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