im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
