My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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