Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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