I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
