So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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