totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
