i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize