my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
