Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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