your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
