she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
