hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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