Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
