I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
