I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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