when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Then you guys just all showered together...?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
