Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
