Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
