LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
