She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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