I feel great
I just peed on a car
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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