Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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