K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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