she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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