I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
