i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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