It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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