I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's just like the Real World with babies
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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