You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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