You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
