Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
They have beer where we have blood.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
