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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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