worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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