just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it hurts more in the daytime
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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