doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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