note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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