once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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