Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
