No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize