New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
did you just send me my own nude
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
