Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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