What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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