Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
