I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
