I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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