UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
